Another Loss

I'm sad today.  We awoke to find another of the chickens dead in the coop.  There were no signs of illness, no signs of trauma.  But it's left me wondering if we can handle taking care of them.

We pulled the bedding out and pulled the floorboards out and in doing so we found a black widow.  We don't know for sure, but suspect that may have been the culprit.

It's frustrating, the two that died were close to finally laying some eggs.  We were watching them because we thought the time was getting close, so I think we would have seen a change if they were sick.

I'm back to feeling like we don't know enough for this.  I was resistant to getting chickens for years because I didn't know anything about birds.  I was feeling pretty good about them and our ability to take care of them, even after we found the first one.  Good enough to get baby chicks.  But two in one week has really put me in a funk.

I'm sad.  Sad that there are only two out there.  Wondering what to do if it becomes one in case it wasn't the spider.  Did we do something wrong?  Did we forget to do something crucial?  Is it normal, and that's why most places won't let you buy less than three?  So many questions, and such vague answers.